[when Dirk comes over, she's in the kitchen, sorting through the ingredients and double checking this recipe on her phone. it had been something that seemed simple enough that she couldn't screw it up too bad - if she does, there's always grilled cheese.
she hears him at the door and comes over, leaving both her phone and thankfully any knives in the kitchen itself.]
Right on time. Almost like you're wonderfully excited to see me.
[Why is Dirk like this. HE MOTORBIKED HERE which is evident from the gloves and also the fact that he is wearing a jacket for once in his life. Because someone convinced him that you HAVE to wear a jacket on a motorbike.
[Grell's place is small, but a woman living on her own doesn't need too much. what is important is that it's clean, neat. much quieter than the Striders'. even though most of the time she has her laptop somewhere and files for work never far away, it's calm, and that's what's important to her.
vaguely gesturing, Dirk will know enough that that particular motion is enough to convey make yourself comfortable, a statement that's redundant with their relationship now. throw your jacket on the couch, take off your shoes where you want. she's hardly picky.]
No, actually, it's been a few days of files and reports. I refuse to fall behind this soon in the month, unlike some who get a kick out of overworking themselves close to a deadline...ah, but if you want something a little interesting, there was almost an unknown cause of death recently until we got records going far enough back to point to a family history of arrhythmia, which then narrowed the field enough to get something conclusive.
[as she talks, she's moving back into the kitchen, picking up the broccoli that's on the counter and taking it to the sink to wash it.]
And what about you? What trouble did you get into today?
In the most broad possible terms, I'd say it's what makes you who you are. An entirely uncomplicated definition. [yeah no he knows that makes it even weirder]
Then is selfhood what differentiates us from being like any other organism? We could be as fish in the sea - they move, they fight, they eat, they reproduce and continue on - but they do not ponder such questions. They do not have the will to go against their natures.
Right, or at least that's the definition I'm going with here. What I'd start to ask then is what constitutes the self? Is it something permanent and enduring? Is who you are defined by what memories you have?
Let me take the position that the self is something innate, while the memories are more color and detail. There is a you at the core that will endure throughout memory, and while they could grow up somewhere else, certain things will remain constant.
[while she speaks, she's working on the cooking, but her attention is more on Dirk.]
Counterpoint: even genetics are adaptive. There are certain predispositions but traits are activated by environmental factors. Whatever basic blocks you might get as some kind of eternal force across incarnations or universe or whatever we're going with here, the you that is who you are is defined by the choices you make, and those form and are formed by your memories and environment.
[Obviously he welcomes her counterpoint on this? This is why he came to her.]
Yet the environment draws out what was already there. The you that you are simply with parts exaggerated or deemphasized by environment. It doesn't change that the core self was there from the beginning, meaning that memories are like details and decorations to make the self seem more one way or another. Seeming, but not being.
[this was why she had come to his defense in the first place, after all. the care that means she doesn't mind when he invades her place came later.]
Then your argument is for an essential self which can be pruned or rearranged to bring out certain elements, but the maintenance of a 'core' that contains, latent, all these elements, is what defines the self. The accents from circumstance don't make you different from, for example, another version of you that had a different upbringing.
What about with different social conditioning? If your parents had treated you differently [haha he has no idea] or if you'd been taught different values and goals.
[thankfully she's got her back turned so he can't see the reflexive eye roll.]
Like what, that death was so very bad and that I should avoid anything having to do with it? I think I'd still be myself, I'd just be afraid of any of my curiosity and punish myself for it, ready to tear into myself as the interest keeps turning up over the years until I drive myself into a self loathing corner.
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[Yes he'll be there early. He likes to talk to her while she cooks? And also sometimes help but. Mostly not. Look he messes stuff up.]
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she hears him at the door and comes over, leaving both her phone and thankfully any knives in the kitchen itself.]
Right on time. Almost like you're wonderfully excited to see me.
[or he just wants free food.]
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[Why is Dirk like this. HE MOTORBIKED HERE which is evident from the gloves and also the fact that he is wearing a jacket for once in his life. Because someone convinced him that you HAVE to wear a jacket on a motorbike.
A filthy liar did.]
Cut up any fun bodies today?
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vaguely gesturing, Dirk will know enough that that particular motion is enough to convey make yourself comfortable, a statement that's redundant with their relationship now. throw your jacket on the couch, take off your shoes where you want. she's hardly picky.]
No, actually, it's been a few days of files and reports. I refuse to fall behind this soon in the month, unlike some who get a kick out of overworking themselves close to a deadline...ah, but if you want something a little interesting, there was almost an unknown cause of death recently until we got records going far enough back to point to a family history of arrhythmia, which then narrowed the field enough to get something conclusive.
[as she talks, she's moving back into the kitchen, picking up the broccoli that's on the counter and taking it to the sink to wash it.]
And what about you? What trouble did you get into today?
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[Dirk liberates himself off shoes etc, and then sort of sprawls himself on a chair and half on a table? He has a lot of limbs.]
I sat around my house and read John Locke.
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[sprawl away, Dirk, she's moving to chop up the vegetable, considering for a second before deciding to go for medium size pieces.]
I suppose we might as well start with defining the "self". At least, in common terminology.
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[What Is The Self.]
In the most broad possible terms, I'd say it's what makes you who you are. An entirely uncomplicated definition. [yeah no he knows that makes it even weirder]
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[weird is good. weird is fine between them.]
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[while she speaks, she's working on the cooking, but her attention is more on Dirk.]
Counterpoint?
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[Obviously he welcomes her counterpoint on this? This is why he came to her.]
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[this was why she had come to his defense in the first place, after all. the care that means she doesn't mind when he invades her place came later.]
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Like what, that death was so very bad and that I should avoid anything having to do with it? I think I'd still be myself, I'd just be afraid of any of my curiosity and punish myself for it, ready to tear into myself as the interest keeps turning up over the years until I drive myself into a self loathing corner.
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[and instead just likes puppets and being a terrible guardian]
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