[Remember when he had implied that he'd avoid texting her in the dead of the night? That 3 AM might have been too late, because she was probably asleep?
Right. About that.
It's 2:50 AM this time, at least. But to be fair, this is a thing that just happened.]
You remember our date? (I hope you haven't already forgotten.) Our conversation about snowstorms and the cold?
Not about the snow of Monet in particular, nor of the snowstorm I had been caught in when I was younger. This is something I've experienced just now, thinking back on our conversations.
But snow nonetheless. On a train, of all things. A dream, or is a hallucination, or a memory? It was the harshest of colds, and yet I barely felt it.
Do you know how some memories are far away, barely clear in one's mind's eye? To the point where they may as well be called dreams? This was not the same. It made no sense, and yet I recall it clearly. A cognizance in which I /know/ I had been there, at some point in time. With such certainty that I would bet my life on it.
But I suppose that's what all individuals say, teetering on the edge of insanity.
[A bit of skewed humor rearing its head again? Why, yes.]
in the ravings of the lunatic hide the glimpses of truth.
you're not insane, i don't think. if you firmly believe you've been there, even if you don't know the hows or whys, then it just might be so. why write off the possible even if it's not probable? if it strikes you so clearly, then why not?
[her life, after all, is built after the pursuit of the truth. of discovering and matching and knowing.
there's a pause, before another message comes through.]
Because reason tells me otherwise, harsh mistress that she is. Logically speaking, when was I there? How could I have forgotten? When do fantasies bleed into truth, or vice-versa?
[The other message has him considering his words before he responds. There's a distinct sense of... relief? Camaraderie? To know that someone else feels similarly.]
I asked you this before, but I ask a bit more seriously this time. Should we both be concerned about the implications? Or fall into the complacency of the "wait and see" approach?
as if it would be possible to not be concerned about that. but what can we do but wait? absent of anything else, the scenes lie there behind our eyes. like you said, only a paragraph of a whole story.
Maybe there are some things too compelling to stay forgotten.
You said that in your "memory", you felt at ease? That you had fun? What I felt was something far less novel. That's what bothers me; it's what compelled me to text you at such a late hour without thinking. I've never felt that sort of discontent before in my life.
[And to be fair, "discontent" was an oversimplification.]
[she pauses too, but not for the reasons he might think. snow, on a train....that sounds like some sort of ruin in winter. where in the world could that be?]
if you didn't see his face, then there's a fair chance he deserved your hatred. if he wronged you, or someone dear to you, then it's understandable. without more of the story, you can either curse yourself for feeling that way, or think that your dear mistress reason comes into play. you're not the sort to hate someone without cause to, i think.
I'd like to think that, in general, I'm not much of a hateful man at all.
[Which is ironically quite true. Ardyn can sometimes skew towards irritation on a bad day, and even anger once in a blue moon, but overall he's a man that's difficult to affect one way or another. Hatred is a rather intense emotion, and he had felt it in spades during that "memory". A gnawing sort of bitterness that still left its impression, even as he types.]
Nothing bothers me more than an incomplete story, Grell. But now I'm hesitant to indulge myself in the rest of the narrative. I suppose texting you was my selfish way of hoping to borrow some small dosage of courage.
[courage, huh? it'd be easy to dispense some quote about it and leave it at that. easy, but would it be enough? she doesn't think so. if the memory's disquieted him this much, then a basic axiom isn't enough. instead, what comes is more from her own words than any book.]
take what courage you would from the fact that there are many possible causes to that moment, that the truth is unclear and has an equal chance to favor you as you might think it does not. the story may yet prove a worthwhile read, and at least if you're going to worry about it, you're not left to worry on your own.
[There’s another pause before he responds, but it’s for differing reasons than apprehension this time. It’s from nothing short of appreciation, and he has to take a moment to rearrange his words in a coherent way.]
You’re too kind. Thank you. It’s a two-way street, of course. I don’t expect for you to shoulder my part of my burden and not be provided with the same hospitality. I’ll fret for you when don’t wish to; I’ll be equally courageous if or when you feel yourself lingering in doubt. And I’m not just saying that to sound affable and charming. (Is it working, though?)
[that response...was entirely unexpected. she hadn't said any of it expecting for the sentiment to be returned, and yet here it was. there's a real comfort to the words, if she's to be honest.]
in answer to if you being charming is working, i should make you wait on that answer and ask again in the morning. but to if you can ask me another question, of course.
Then I'm going to hold you to it that you tell me in the morning.
As for my question, are you free sometime next week? I haven't forgotten that you agreed to a second date, you know. Or must I wait until tomorrow for an answer regarding that as well?
if i was in a mood to be cruel, i'd say that would need to wait as well. but i don't think i have significant plans after work aside from tuesday and thursday.
I would invite you over instead of going out, considering it's been awhile since I've cooked a meal for more than just myself, and I'd like to have your opinion regarding the matter. But, considering I've a home full of cats and now an annoying brother, I'm not sure that would be suitable at this time.
[He says "full" of cats, when it's like... 3. That's a lot for him, though, and you can thank his nephew for that.
As for the annoying brother comment, well. That part is as true as they come.]
define annoying, because cats aren't a dealbreaker.
[honestly, given Ardyn, she's inclined to think it's two cats and he's exaggerating. but it might not be a date if his brother's involved, it'd be more like hanging out.]
[Listen, for a man who's lived alone and without pets for a long number of years, three cats is excessive. He manages without too much annoyance, only because he's Ardyn, but really, it's an adventure. They want all of his attention and yet none of it at the same time. They leave hairballs in unfortunate places. They tug at his hair when he does manage to sleep. (Fynn's slightly allergic to them, though, so that makes it worth it.)
Speaking of his brother.]
Loud and often thinks he's the most clever man in the room. Usually means well enough. [He supposes he should say that, at least. As long as Fynn doesn't ever find out he texted that sentence.] He's living with me until he gets his finances sorted.
That doesn't mean he can't find something else to do Friday night, if this really sparks your interest.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
approx. a week after Valentine's
Right. About that.
It's 2:50 AM this time, at least. But to be fair, this is a thing that just happened.]
You remember our date? (I hope you haven't already forgotten.) Our conversation about snowstorms and the cold?
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of course. did you remember something you wanted to say about them?
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But snow nonetheless. On a train, of all things. A dream, or is a hallucination, or a memory? It was the harshest of colds, and yet I barely felt it.
[A beat. And then another message:]
Did I wake you?
[As if he's only just realized the time.]
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[which is "yes", but this is a sight more serious than jokes, after all.]
why do you say memory? what gives you that impression, when it was snowing on a train?
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But I suppose that's what all individuals say, teetering on the edge of insanity.
[A bit of skewed humor rearing its head again? Why, yes.]
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you're not insane, i don't think. if you firmly believe you've been there, even if you don't know the hows or whys, then it just might be so. why write off the possible even if it's not probable? if it strikes you so clearly, then why not?
[her life, after all, is built after the pursuit of the truth. of discovering and matching and knowing.
there's a pause, before another message comes through.]
the ship feels the same way to me.
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[The other message has him considering his words before he responds. There's a distinct sense of... relief? Camaraderie? To know that someone else feels similarly.]
I asked you this before, but I ask a bit more seriously this time. Should we both be concerned about the implications? Or fall into the complacency of the "wait and see" approach?
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if we've forgotten, why would we remember?
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You said that in your "memory", you felt at ease? That you had fun? What I felt was something far less novel. That's what bothers me; it's what compelled me to text you at such a late hour without thinking. I've never felt that sort of discontent before in my life.
[And to be fair, "discontent" was an oversimplification.]
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[Another pause. Ardyn is trying to figure out how to type this out without sounding like he’s got a hidden sadistic side to him. He fails.]
I hated him. And I was glad for his pain. I wished for more of it.
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if you didn't see his face, then there's a fair chance he deserved your hatred. if he wronged you, or someone dear to you, then it's understandable. without more of the story, you can either curse yourself for feeling that way, or think that your dear mistress reason comes into play. you're not the sort to hate someone without cause to, i think.
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[Which is ironically quite true. Ardyn can sometimes skew towards irritation on a bad day, and even anger once in a blue moon, but overall he's a man that's difficult to affect one way or another. Hatred is a rather intense emotion, and he had felt it in spades during that "memory". A gnawing sort of bitterness that still left its impression, even as he types.]
Nothing bothers me more than an incomplete story, Grell. But now I'm hesitant to indulge myself in the rest of the narrative. I suppose texting you was my selfish way of hoping to borrow some small dosage of courage.
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take what courage you would from the fact that there are many possible causes to that moment, that the truth is unclear and has an equal chance to favor you as you might think it does not. the story may yet prove a worthwhile read, and at least if you're going to worry about it, you're not left to worry on your own.
1/2
You’re too kind. Thank you. It’s a two-way street, of course. I don’t expect for you to shoulder my part of my burden and not be provided with the same hospitality. I’ll fret for you when don’t wish to; I’ll be equally courageous if or when you feel yourself lingering in doubt. And I’m not just saying that to sound affable and charming. (Is it working, though?)
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in answer to if you being charming is working, i should make you wait on that answer and ask again in the morning.
but to if you can ask me another question, of course.
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As for my question, are you free sometime next week? I haven't forgotten that you agreed to a second date, you know. Or must I wait until tomorrow for an answer regarding that as well?
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but i don't think i have significant plans after work aside from tuesday and thursday.
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How does dinner sound, then?
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I would invite you over instead of going out, considering it's been awhile since I've cooked a meal for more than just myself, and I'd like to have your opinion regarding the matter. But, considering I've a home full of cats and now an annoying brother, I'm not sure that would be suitable at this time.
[He says "full" of cats, when it's like... 3. That's a lot for him, though, and you can thank his nephew for that.
As for the annoying brother comment, well. That part is as true as they come.]
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[honestly, given Ardyn, she's inclined to think it's two cats and he's exaggerating. but it might not be a date if his brother's involved, it'd be more like hanging out.]
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Speaking of his brother.]
Loud and often thinks he's the most clever man in the room. Usually means well enough. [He supposes he should say that, at least. As long as Fynn doesn't ever find out he texted that sentence.] He's living with me until he gets his finances sorted.
That doesn't mean he can't find something else to do Friday night, if this really sparks your interest.
[rip fynn, kicked to the curb]
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i wouldn't want to put him out too much. but it does have my interest, so hopefully he'll understand.
[that's a very nice way to say that even if he is put out he most likely won't get more than a sweet apology for his trouble.]
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SLAMS FISTS DOWN ON TABLE and yells about this entire thread
i'm yelling with
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