I, Grell Sutcliffe, being of relatively sound mind and sound body, write this down to be representative of my wishes for the future after my passing - my will and testament. There is none to verify this save the stars themselves and Lady Alice, but they will be enough.
This is to be read and hopefully adhered to in the event of my death, though if I am suspected of murder it is likely to be found in the process of investigation. I cannot and will not stop you reading it in this case. My request is that you instead bring it to the conference room so that should I be subject to execution, it may still be witnessed.
The letters in my room's desk, I request they be delivered to those they are addressed to. Should a recipient be deceased themselves, the letter should be burned and disposed of. One letter will have an address on the planet Earth upon its envelope, and I wish that one to be entrusted to someone from the planet themselves in hopes that if they find their way home, they might be able to send it out. If no one from the planet Earth is alive, please give it to Lady Alice, with my request and my clarification that if she cannot, she may do with the letter as she pleases.
In regards to the letters written in runes in the pocket of the red coat in my closet, they originate from one Kazuma Kval. They are to be given to Lady Alice, with the explanation detailed in my personal notebook. Other last requests recorded in the notebook, such as that of Frankenstein, are to be handled as described in those pages.
My possessions are to be done with as wished. Whether they are repurposed in someone else's hands, destroyed, or left alone, it does not matter to me. The only exception would be the notebook, which I desire someone hold onto at least long enough to address the manner of the last requests.
I request that someone step forward and take the position of trying to ensure that someone does not completely obliterate the garden onboard. Some evidence of beauty and the variety of life should be allowed to endure, and beyond ourselves and books, there is only that. It is a way to understand that strife does not encompass all, that love and death may dance together and parts of the world remain unaffected throughout the blood spilled on the battlefield. So it is that roses may still bloom and another of our number may fall. One does not cancel out the other.
And finally, this falls to whomever endures until the end. Remember what has taken place, what the reality is. Through memory may we all live still.
This is a notice that Officer Grell Sutcliffe wishes to resign her position, effective immediately. It is requested that I be allowed to leave my employment in full, without severance, as it will be unnecessary.
I understand that it may be a blow to lose another field agent. However, I ask this so that none have to believe that it was one of their own who failed you all so utterly. One who would is not worthy of being called one of the Society, and this added to my long list of infractions means there is no alternative but for me to take action before your hand is forced. I will remove myself, and you might be whole again.
I didn't want this to happen. There aren't words enough to convey it. I'm so sorry.
Strange to think that when you died was when we truly began to know each other. I can't say what possessed me to step forward, to ask you if there was anything, but perhaps it was a sense of the thread that binds us. We're both people for who to be ourselves we must endure the looks of others, their odd scorn, we must stay upright through their storm. And despite what they say, how they deride, I hope that you never lose the courage to endure. I hope you remember that out there, somewhere, is someone who stands behind you and cherishes you for who you are, not who you play at being. I'm glad I got to meet you, miss you, and meet you again. And though I'll miss you again, know it's because of the friendship you have given me.
Life is not simple, nor is it easy. But it wouldn't be interesting if it was either of those things. And seeking what's interesting, what's different, what's worthy of your focus and emotion...I think that's a good way to spend one's time. Rather than feeling as though one has to, why not think about what one could do?
When you get to where you're going, take a minute and admire the flowers for me, will you?
-G
[under this is a drawing something like the Furry Passing emote for happiness.]
P.S. Since you have your Terumi back now, I thought you might like to give these to him yourself. All exactly as you left them.
[with Kazuma's letter will be the letters written in runes meant for Terumi. safe and sound, like she promised.]
If you haven't cast this aside within the first moment of realizing who wrote it, then thank you, and I beg only a little more of your time. If at the end, you still want my blood, then take it. We have no more shields, and if God herself would smite me for my sins, then it would be a fitting end to my life, which has already run longer than it should.
A lot of what you said about me is true, but there's one thing that I want to say that maybe you didn't consider. When I write, especially when I write letters like this, I don't write them for me. If I wanted to tend to my own satisfaction, I'd keep the words inside. Letting them out is offering up a part of yourself to someone, as I am with you. And it isn't easy. So my writing, at least this piece, is for you.
Never once, Yuno, have I ever wanted to hurt you. And while I wish I could say I never wished to kill you, that'd be a lie, with Lady Alice River's roles dictating I think about killing everyone at least once. But after I got to know you a little, I knew something for certain that still rings true. I would defend you with my blood, and while I know you can defend yourself, if by my actions you didn't have to, then I would do it. Without a trace of insincerity, I can say my heart never felt peace more than it did than when you would stay over and for a handful of precious hours what existed was not this game, but the young woman I respect and care for - no matter her feelings towards me. Like that, I could believe only simple fondness moved our hands, that there were far more innocent reasons we decided to stay together that had nothing to do with murder.
I think, if the heavens were merciful to me, if I ever had a daughter in a world where that could be, I would want her to be like you. Possessed of strength to weather life's inevitability, but still with a part of her heart that could still find joy, find beauty, find passion that colors the world and makes it worthwhile. Admirable in so many facets of herself.
Forgiveness isn't something I deserve. I know that. I've hurt people, people you care for, and I know it. An apology doesn't fix the damage caused, but I offer one anyway. For all of it. All I ask is that you believe me when I say I want you to be happy, wherever you go. With all my heart and soul, I want you to be possessed of happiness, whatever form that ends up taking. The world is filled with better things, and they should be for you.
Congratulations on your wedding. I heard Clover announce it, and may you and Dave have a long, wonderful future together. He's your knight, didn't you say? I know you'll look out for each other, because that's the power of true love.
I will never forget you, Yuno Gasai. It's a promise. No matter how many decades upon decades I may live, I won't ever forget who you were and the time we spent together.
A long time ago you asked me what I dreamed about. I think now is the time to tell you what it was.
Somewhere in the sea of stars, there is a rose. Full of life, bright and sweetly scented. To behold it is to feel joy, to be in possession of it is to have a chance. If you pluck it, you might have one burst of happiness, but it will die. If you leave it, you leave with nothing. I thought those were the only options, and so every time I left it.
But you? You taught me there was another option. A way to carry it with me without killing it, without destroying it. You reminded me about hope, in all your passionate intensity. And because you chose to hope, it in a sense gave me permission to do so in a way I haven't done in many years. Perhaps not since I used to be human.
Wherever you go, I sincerely wish that your future is, as a dear friend one wished for me, without regrets. Even if you make mistakes, it isn't the end. Take risks and chances, but take Adam with you when you do - I have a feeling he'll know better than I do how to take things in moderation.
Whether our paths cross again or not, I feel like I was meant to meet you. Thank you for everything.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
will.
This is to be read and hopefully adhered to in the event of my death, though if I am suspected of murder it is likely to be found in the process of investigation. I cannot and will not stop you reading it in this case. My request is that you instead bring it to the conference room so that should I be subject to execution, it may still be witnessed.
The letters in my room's desk, I request they be delivered to those they are addressed to. Should a recipient be deceased themselves, the letter should be burned and disposed of. One letter will have an address on the planet Earth upon its envelope, and I wish that one to be entrusted to someone from the planet themselves in hopes that if they find their way home, they might be able to send it out. If no one from the planet Earth is alive, please give it to Lady Alice, with my request and my clarification that if she cannot, she may do with the letter as she pleases.
In regards to the letters written in runes in the pocket of the red coat in my closet, they originate from one Kazuma Kval. They are to be given to Lady Alice, with the explanation detailed in my personal notebook. Other last requests recorded in the notebook, such as that of Frankenstein, are to be handled as described in those pages.
My possessions are to be done with as wished. Whether they are repurposed in someone else's hands, destroyed, or left alone, it does not matter to me. The only exception would be the notebook, which I desire someone hold onto at least long enough to address the manner of the last requests.
I request that someone step forward and take the position of trying to ensure that someone does not completely obliterate the garden onboard. Some evidence of beauty and the variety of life should be allowed to endure, and beyond ourselves and books, there is only that. It is a way to understand that strife does not encompass all, that love and death may dance together and parts of the world remain unaffected throughout the blood spilled on the battlefield. So it is that roses may still bloom and another of our number may fall. One does not cancel out the other.
And finally, this falls to whomever endures until the end. Remember what has taken place, what the reality is. Through memory may we all live still.
Grell Sutcliffe
division.
This is a notice that Officer Grell Sutcliffe wishes to resign her position, effective immediately. It is requested that I be allowed to leave my employment in full, without severance, as it will be unnecessary.
I understand that it may be a blow to lose another field agent. However, I ask this so that none have to believe that it was one of their own who failed you all so utterly. One who would is not worthy of being called one of the Society, and this added to my long list of infractions means there is no alternative but for me to take action before your hand is forced. I will remove myself, and you might be whole again.
I didn't want this to happen. There aren't words enough to convey it. I'm so sorry.
G.S.
farewell letters.
an endless dark, the sovereign galaxies.
the light we cast creates a bridge
and guides the way; across the ageless deep"}
---
[comment for a letter.]
no subject
no subject
Strange to think that when you died was when we truly began to know each other. I can't say what possessed me to step forward, to ask you if there was anything, but perhaps it was a sense of the thread that binds us. We're both people for who to be ourselves we must endure the looks of others, their odd scorn, we must stay upright through their storm. And despite what they say, how they deride, I hope that you never lose the courage to endure. I hope you remember that out there, somewhere, is someone who stands behind you and cherishes you for who you are, not who you play at being. I'm glad I got to meet you, miss you, and meet you again. And though I'll miss you again, know it's because of the friendship you have given me.
Life is not simple, nor is it easy. But it wouldn't be interesting if it was either of those things. And seeking what's interesting, what's different, what's worthy of your focus and emotion...I think that's a good way to spend one's time. Rather than feeling as though one has to, why not think about what one could do?
When you get to where you're going, take a minute and admire the flowers for me, will you?
-G
[under this is a drawing something like the Furry Passing emote for happiness.]
P.S. Since you have your Terumi back now, I thought you might like to give these to him yourself. All exactly as you left them.
[with Kazuma's letter will be the letters written in runes meant for Terumi. safe and sound, like she promised.]
no subject
no subject
If you haven't cast this aside within the first moment of realizing who wrote it, then thank you, and I beg only a little more of your time. If at the end, you still want my blood, then take it. We have no more shields, and if God herself would smite me for my sins, then it would be a fitting end to my life, which has already run longer than it should.
A lot of what you said about me is true, but there's one thing that I want to say that maybe you didn't consider. When I write, especially when I write letters like this, I don't write them for me. If I wanted to tend to my own satisfaction, I'd keep the words inside. Letting them out is offering up a part of yourself to someone, as I am with you. And it isn't easy. So my writing, at least this piece, is for you.
Never once, Yuno, have I ever wanted to hurt you. And while I wish I could say I never wished to kill you, that'd be a lie, with Lady
AliceRiver's roles dictating I think about killing everyone at least once. But after I got to know you a little, I knew something for certain that still rings true. I would defend you with my blood, and while I know you can defend yourself, if by my actions you didn't have to, then I would do it. Without a trace of insincerity, I can say my heart never felt peace more than it did than when you would stay over and for a handful of precious hours what existed was not this game, but the young woman I respect and care for - no matter her feelings towards me. Like that, I could believe only simple fondness moved our hands, that there were far more innocent reasons we decided to stay together that had nothing to do with murder.I think, if the heavens were merciful to me, if I ever had a daughter in a world where that could be, I would want her to be like you. Possessed of strength to weather life's inevitability, but still with a part of her heart that could still find joy, find beauty, find passion that colors the world and makes it worthwhile. Admirable in so many facets of herself.
Forgiveness isn't something I deserve. I know that. I've hurt people, people you care for, and I know it. An apology doesn't fix the damage caused, but I offer one anyway. For all of it. All I ask is that you believe me when I say I want you to be happy, wherever you go. With all my heart and soul, I want you to be possessed of happiness, whatever form that ends up taking. The world is filled with better things, and they should be for you.
Congratulations on your wedding. I heard Clover announce it, and may you and Dave have a long, wonderful future together. He's your knight, didn't you say? I know you'll look out for each other, because that's the power of true love.
I will never forget you, Yuno Gasai. It's a promise. No matter how many decades upon decades I may live, I won't ever forget who you were and the time we spent together.
Sincerely,
Grell
luke because deal w/it ty
A long time ago you asked me what I dreamed about. I think now is the time to tell you what it was.
Somewhere in the sea of stars, there is a rose. Full of life, bright and sweetly scented. To behold it is to feel joy, to be in possession of it is to have a chance. If you pluck it, you might have one burst of happiness, but it will die. If you leave it, you leave with nothing. I thought those were the only options, and so every time I left it.
But you? You taught me there was another option. A way to carry it with me without killing it, without destroying it. You reminded me about hope, in all your passionate intensity. And because you chose to hope, it in a sense gave me permission to do so in a way I haven't done in many years. Perhaps not since I used to be human.
Wherever you go, I sincerely wish that your future is, as a dear friend one wished for me, without regrets. Even if you make mistakes, it isn't the end. Take risks and chances, but take Adam with you when you do - I have a feeling he'll know better than I do how to take things in moderation.
Whether our paths cross again or not, I feel like I was meant to meet you. Thank you for everything.
-Grell