[The night before had been hard. It had been quiet and hard and full of hard conversations and Luke trying to calm himself before crashing pretty hard for a couple of hours. He looks to be sure Adam's still asleep when he awakens, stomach tied in knots still and eyes throbbing in his skull.
Coffee would be his default beverage for breakfast, but he's thinking tea is a better choice. Not wanting to wake Adam, he scrawls a note for him just in case and slips out of the room with Backbiter, silently making his way to the kitchen. The halls are silent but the lights are on as he approaches the cafeteria. It's only when he's in the doorway that he sees one lone figure and he calls out hesitantly.]
It's a habit. I don't really sleep after those things.
[those things being trials. if she didn't sleep during trials, and didn't sleep after them, then how does Grell sleep? (the answer is erratically.)
her hair's loosely braided over her shoulder, and instead of a notebook in front of her, there's nothing at all save a cup which she drains the last bit of before looking at it with a frown.]
Tea or coffee?
[obviously, he's getting something too. she was already planning on a refill.]
Even more things I'm not surprised about. [It's all he says at first as he examines the sight in front of him. To his disadvantage he hadn't bothered changing into real clothes so he's in sweatpants and his Camp shirt and sandals as he watches her attend to matters. When she asks, he thinks about lying to her before he shrugs.]
Got a tea you'd recommend? I'm not really a huge tea drinking believe it or not.
[she's in an actual shirt and pants, but frankly, she looks as exhausted as you'd expect someone who's not really slept in a few days to look. the drink is helping her recover.]
Let me see...
[getting up from her seat, she goes to get down another mug for him.]
Have a seat and see if you can trust my judgement once more.
[by which she means she'll make both of their teas. same water source, same source for sugar. no poisoning here, if he's worried about that.]
[That is, in fact, something to worry about. He blinks heavily, unsure how to argue before settling in a chair in the end and watching her move to get to work.]
I know that well enough. Usually I'm the one making judgements.
[identical cups, because she doesn't know how he takes his tea and she can only care enough to make them the same - strong and sweet. more for support than being treated delicately and savored.]
Absolutely not. Most people wouldn't be here still, I think. [His head's supported by his arms on the table and when she returns with the tea he sniffs a little. The scent's appealing even if his stomach revolts a bit again, but he can't help but seem oddly grateful anyway.]
...what exactly does that mean anyway? That you're usually making judgements? Should I be worried about that instead?
So that's one less thing out of the thousands we have in front of us. Good to know. [He can't help but smile lightly if only out of bewilderment more than anything. His hands twitch as he picks up the cup, mimicking the sip only after she does. When he doesn't immediately drop dead, he relaxes further.]
Got enough people making judgment calls back home as it is. I don't know if I wanna deal with somebody else deciding what to do with me based on whatever actions I'm doing. But it's part of your job. [Things aren't adding up too well to him.] Is it part of your job the same way wielding what looks like a chainsaw around is part of your job? [Yes, he saw the demo in the trial thank you.]
[that's a distinction she can't let go of. or won't is more accurate. she could let them call it what they want, think it a simpler thing than it is, but that feels like a lie she doesn't want to bear - keeping something quiet is one thing, choosing words carefully another, misleading about its real nature is yet another. or something. god, but she is less willing to monitor herself like this.]
Grell, I've fought with a scythe before. That thing doesn't look very scythe-like. [The words are low like he doesn't want to admit it, but here they are. He regards her curiously, peering at her over the top rim of his mug as his fingers drum on the mug to a beat only he can hear.]
...you trust me a little bit, don't you? I've kept other secrets for this long. [He'd be a real asshole to reveal the one he knows Grell's worried about. He noticed how she'd requested someone specific for her strip search. He respects that and more importantly he respects her.] Can I ask what your job is?
[for a moment, she debates telling him no. he'd accept it, she thinks, maybe push some, but she could refuse and let the matter rest.
on the other hand. the one other person who'd known this about her was dead, and even they didn't get the full story. did it matter in keeping it a secret now, when a bigger secret was going to be dropped on their heads if Lady Alice didn't feel like being kind? did it matter, when he's putting pieces together and even if she refuses he'll figure it out anyway.
so she raises her eyes from the depths of her mug, and straightens up a little.]
My job and what I am are the same. I'm a grim reaper.
[surely, there had to be some legend like that in his world.]
[…ah. For a moment he's frozen, unsure if she's serious…but it's Grell. Of course she's serious about this and he nods slowly, eyelashes batting at half their speed as he tries to kickstart his brain into comprehending those words.
Grim reapers. Collectors of death. Suddenly it makes some amount of sense.]
Didn't see that coming. [He's honest at least.] We don't have those where I'm from, I think. But we've got the Fates. They control life and death, y'know? They decide what happens to people and decide when people die. Crazy responsibility. [He seems considering for a moment, unsure how to approach the subject now that it's out there.]
…how--[No, wait.] I think I get why nobody on the ship knows. People would freak out. But how did Alice bring someone like you here? [How the hell did Alice bring someone like him here? Who knows.]
How did she bring any of us? Lady Alice has her ways.
[that, she had accepted the first few days. she looks down at the tea again, and is glad that he understands why she's kept it quiet. say you're linked to death on a ship full of murder, and if every trial her name was suspected it wouldn't be out of line.]
Someone like the Fates - if I remember my legends right, there's three? - would be much, much more powerful than I am. But some of the concepts are the same.
Yeah, three. They keep busy back where I'm from. Demigods live pretty short and dangerous lives most of the time. [That's all he says because now there's something more curious to him.] Why do you call her Lady Alice anyway? She hasn't really done much to earn our respect.
...are you serious right now or are you just messing with me? [Grell????] Just because she's the overseer doesn't exactly mean she automatically should have our respect. In case you haven't noticed, she's trying to kill all of us.
She's trying to kill us, or those around us are? Last I checked, Alice wasn't forcing people to pick up weapons beyond our weekly pep talks.
[motives were incentive, yes, but claiming Alice was as intent on murder as the aliens possessing people were seemed wrong to her.]
She's doing her duty, Luke. One she has no choice in, if she has the concept of herself having a choice. Do you know what she said to me, when I remarked that everyone was going to hate her more the more time passed? She told me that it was better for us to hate her than each other. That she predicted it would happen from the start. What she does...I've picked up some things from trying to understand this ship's technology, and one of them is that an existence like hers was created to fulfill a specific purpose. So she does it, and I doubt she was made being allowed to ask why.
[to make herself pause, she takes in another sip of the tea.]
...I can't fault you if you despise her, for what your reasons may be. I don't agree with everything she does, naturally. It's only that...it just doesn't seem as simple as "Alice wants to kill us."
Then I think you forgot the paranoia incentive because that was Alice's own doing in addition to our weekly motive. [He's not sold on the fact that Alice is as guiltless as Grell wants her to be. He doesn't like that excuse either, that she has a job. It's bullshit. It's the same bullshit that's always bothered him about fate and people with power not listening to people like them. Perhaps the anger is misplaced, but that happens when you live fast and die young.]
I don't think she's bound by fate. How do we know she doesn't have a choice and she's not just lying to us? If she really was worried about us and what was happening to us, she'd be more helpful! She'd answer more questions at least. [Seethe…] She can fulfill a specific purpose, fine, but she doesn't have to do it this way.
…if it's not that simple, then what is it? What about what happened with Bull and what Alice offered him?
Maybe the mystery of it all is what we must solve to end this project.
[setting her mug down, she looks up at him.]
Every week, we've never let the murderer escape. Even yesterday, I know there were some of us who were already prepared to vote for Bull - myself among them. When the odds are so stacked against us ever getting away with it, then it begins to look less and less as though murder is the way forward, and survival is. Live, and you gain more pieces as you move on.
I might be wrong. You could kill me right here, and we could see if someone really is allowed to retire. Or we could try for surviving, and the truth. I'd prefer the latter, but...
[the way Grell says it, she's fully convinced that Luke won't kill her right then and there. it was only an example situation to make her point.]
Perhaps Lady Alice doesn't have to do it the way she does. Perhaps she has no choice. Think what you would - but would you rather dwell in uncertainty or find an answer?
Of course I'd rather find an answer. [It's the first clarification he makes, eyebrows furrowed together. His grip on the mug is a little tighter though.] We've never let the murderer escape, but we've also had some casualties along the way that shouldn't have happened. Why didn't Alice prevent those?
[She's not wrong. He won't kill Grell here and now. But he's frustrated with that answer all the same.] How're we supposed to solve a mystery we don't even have the real pieces to? Alice herself didn't know about the aliens, right? What else doesn't she know about that'll come back to bite us? She's an overseer of the project. I just think she could answer more questions if she was really that concerned about how the project was running.
An overseer. There have been times, I've seen her, where someone will ask a question and then she seems to move - as if she's trying and yet gets pushed back from it. Lady Alice is a mystery, but I think she's also part of another one, greater in scale.
[she sighs, propping her elbows on the table.]
Believe me, Luke, there are so many more questions I have beyond the ones I've asked. Letting it lie doesn't make sense - but if Alice can't give us the answers because they're locked away, then it means I haven't found the right key yet.
[despite appearances, despite how she'd not like to break away and go back to what she had before, she's also dissatisfied with living under the terms of this deal. if Alice can't change it, then they had to.]
Which means what, somebody's still controlling her to make sure we don't learn too much? I don't know about that, but maybe it's possible.
[They may have to agree to disagree, but he respects her opinions nevertheless. He seems to be sulking a bit which looks a little funny on someone his age, but frustration runs deep the longer he spins in circles without answers.] If all of that's true...how do we find the right key? Any ideas?
[it's early when she rises, sheds her nightgown for actual clothing, and steps out. even in shoes she's quiet, a long held skill when she actually focuses on it, and she makes her way out of the room, down the hall, with one goal in mind.
of course, the elaborate plan is halted when she sees someone else, the very figure she had intended to go find in the first place. the one she had been intending to speak with, had not the trial's end been so crushing. and then yesterday...]
Luke. Are you going somewhere?
[almost the tone that would be the same in can we talk? it's important she do this now instead of later. important enough that she's foregone doing anything to her hair, leaving it unbound in exchange for more time while most of the ship sleeps.]
[It's early but like most nights Luke doesn't sleep for too long past early morning. He's careful to leave his room quietly so he doesn't disturb Adam and he's barely out of his room when he hears a familiar voice. Backbiter is strapped to his body but he's dressed down today in his cut-off shorts and a long-sleeved thermal shirt. He clearly wasn't planning on going too far, but he stops to give Grell a somewhat closed smile.]
Coffee, I think. I can finally move without my limbs screaming at me so I figure it's time to push my luck again. [A pause.] Need something?
[The closed smile quirks up a tiny bit at the jab at her own sleeping habits, but he still gives her a mildly wary look. He can't quite imagine what this is for, but he nods all the same.]
I'm all yours for at least the next half hour. Cafeteria first and then...wherever, I guess. Coming? [He's already taking the lead, if only because it's easier to move forward rather than linger.]
[she nods and follows behind, staying quiet until they've started to make coffee, until she's certain there's no one else around who'd hear her. after all, only two other people should even know the context for this - and even so, she doesn't want them listening in.]
...About Friday. I...realized I said some things that weren't the most tactful. And for those, I wanted to apologize.
[he knows which ones, of course he does, and she still presses on.]
The rules where I come from are a lot less kind on the subject.
[While waiting for coffee he'd been juggling coffee cubes in one hand, rolling them over his fingers and generally being a nuisance. He's more well-rested today even after the onslaught of information they'd received, more aware of himself now.
Of course, he stops when Grell speaks of Friday and he pauses. He doesn't quite look at her, more inclined to watch the cube machine for their coffee before he shrugs almost languidly. The topic was a sore one and though he's since figured out a little about his mortality, it hadn't sat well.]
Considering what you are, I can imagine why. [It's similarly murmured, knowing she would rather keep her job under wraps as well. He grabs for his finished coffee then, shrugging again without meaning to.] Trust me, the rules where I'm from aren't exactly much more loose either. I'm just as confused as you are. [But of course therein lies the problem.]
[her turn to put the cubes in, hitting the button without meeting his eyes.]
There's only ever been one reason judgement is delayed, that a person is sent back. "The person's existence will be of great benefit to the world." That's the textbook definition of it. Something they still have to do, something on the side of good.
[a pause, because that didn't explain everything, but she couldn't go on without turning this into a philosophy debate. death, Grell thinks, is supposed to be something final. an end, and as much a part of existence as birth. of course people want to subvert it, get as much time as they can, it's a trait inherit in mortality. but if suddenly the mortal became immortal, had some manufactured way to make death mean so very little, then could it be called death anymore?
her cup is done, and she takes it out to add enough milk and sugar.]
That's how it's always been for me - and so with you I wasn't actually confused at all.
[He follows along for a short time, nodding and adding sugar to his own coffee to taste. It makes sense that there are loopholes--all things have one--but it's the second piece that makes little sense to him and he stops, hand hovering in mid-air.]
Wait what exactly do you mean? What does that have to do with me being here? [Luke, for all that it's worth, doesn't exactly want to believe the truth that's in front of him. That there's something left. Hearing someone else say it perplexes him, but…Grell's opinion does hold weight. So he patiently blinks at her and waits for a response.]
I mean that in my eyes, the reason you are here is because there's something very important you have to do. Your existence is of great worth.
[she says that without making it overly dramatic, without it being joking. a simple fact, while she stirs the coffee into the sweetness she prefers. to her, Luke Castellan must fall into that category for exception. why wouldn't he?]
[...and again, he simply stares at her. His face falls into an expression not quite believing but also a tiny bit exasperated all the same.]
And yet it's another case where whoever's in charge isn't gonna tell me what that important thing is. Yeah. Been there, done that. [But he knows that isn't Grell's fault and so he sips his coffee and broods quietly.]
...Grell. What happens to people in your world if they don't do whatever that important thing is? Anything? What if they don't figure it out on time or just choose not to do it?
[holding the coffee in her hands, she finally looks at him.]
It's not up to us to say that they will - and anyway, that's only my guess on what that phrase is supposed to mean, out of a multitude of other interpretations. What they choose to do, it's up to them. They could do a hundred things, or just one. They could do something that to them seems meaningless but triggers a chain of events that results in something. Their presence could serve as inspiration to someone else. The only thing that reapers can control is whether we deliver the final blow, and seal someone's death. Everything else is in the mortal's hands.
["in charge." if he only knew.]
All that's known for certain is that their life has untold value.
[and personally? she's never found a mortal like that. one where it would be better to spare them and delay the judgement. Luke, in that respect, is the first.]
[...interestingly, it's what he wants to hear. He wants to hear that he has value and he wants to hear that he's loved and appreciated but while none of that really equals that on a base level, it's enough.
He has a lot to think about. What could his revival mean? He has thoughts and they involve things everyone's told him but...it's hard. It's hard to change his thinking when goals and motivations and priorities shift continually. Though he has ideas, they all revolve around the idea that people trust him to do good things and protect people here.
He'd failed that back home. Maybe that's why the second chance.]
I think it's mostly reassuring that you won't be the one delivering that final blow then. [It's all he says for a short while.] If such a life has that much value...can a person bargain with a reaper for a little more time? Especially if they think they know what they're here for. In general.
[she's quiet for another moment, considering. bargaining? when most of the humans didn't even know they were there? part of her wants to dismiss the idea out of hand, but...here she is, on a ship that sails the stars, hundreds of years in the future. impossible was growing to become a slimmer category by the day.]
If they made a good enough case for themselves, I don't see why that'd be entirely out of the question.
[besides. who could contradict her now? there were no other reapers on board to do so.]
I think I know what my next step is then. It'll take a little bit of planning, but I think I can make a good case if you ask me. [It's strange, really, how originally he wanted nothing more than to go back to where he came from to proceed with his afterlife and go for rebirth. Knowing he has a choice and options though...that changes things.]
...thank you, Grell. You didn't have to tell me all of this.
Didn't I? If I didn't, then how would you know that my apology was sincere?
[the smile on her lips as she taste tests the coffee is true, but almost sad. it's her version of you're welcome. she's trusting that she won't come to regret exposing the truth like this.]
I suppose that's a fair point that I can't argue with. [He looks far too elated to even think about letting this knowledge backfire. If he could at least make this work...the world will be good again.] Apology accepted, by the way. In case that wasn't clear.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
6amish, week 9 (the morning after Bull's execution)
Coffee would be his default beverage for breakfast, but he's thinking tea is a better choice. Not wanting to wake Adam, he scrawls a note for him just in case and slips out of the room with Backbiter, silently making his way to the kitchen. The halls are silent but the lights are on as he approaches the cafeteria. It's only when he's in the doorway that he sees one lone figure and he calls out hesitantly.]
Should've known you'd be up, too.
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[those things being trials. if she didn't sleep during trials, and didn't sleep after them, then how does Grell sleep? (the answer is erratically.)
her hair's loosely braided over her shoulder, and instead of a notebook in front of her, there's nothing at all save a cup which she drains the last bit of before looking at it with a frown.]
Tea or coffee?
[obviously, he's getting something too. she was already planning on a refill.]
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Got a tea you'd recommend? I'm not really a huge tea drinking believe it or not.
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Let me see...
[getting up from her seat, she goes to get down another mug for him.]
Have a seat and see if you can trust my judgement once more.
[by which she means she'll make both of their teas. same water source, same source for sugar. no poisoning here, if he's worried about that.]
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Most people only get one judgment, you know.
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[identical cups, because she doesn't know how he takes his tea and she can only care enough to make them the same - strong and sweet. more for support than being treated delicately and savored.]
Besides. Are we most people?
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...what exactly does that mean anyway? That you're usually making judgements? Should I be worried about that instead?
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[she sits, and holds the cup, feeling the warmth before sipping at it.]
Not really something you have to worry about here.
[unless Alice started telling her to take custody of the souls of those who didn't survive this project, which she'd do if she had to.]
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Got enough people making judgment calls back home as it is. I don't know if I wanna deal with somebody else deciding what to do with me based on whatever actions I'm doing. But it's part of your job. [Things aren't adding up too well to him.] Is it part of your job the same way wielding what looks like a chainsaw around is part of your job? [Yes, he saw the demo in the trial thank you.]
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[that's a distinction she can't let go of. or won't is more accurate. she could let them call it what they want, think it a simpler thing than it is, but that feels like a lie she doesn't want to bear - keeping something quiet is one thing, choosing words carefully another, misleading about its real nature is yet another. or something. god, but she is less willing to monitor herself like this.]
But yes. It's part of it all.
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...you trust me a little bit, don't you? I've kept other secrets for this long. [He'd be a real asshole to reveal the one he knows Grell's worried about. He noticed how she'd requested someone specific for her strip search. He respects that and more importantly he respects her.] Can I ask what your job is?
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on the other hand. the one other person who'd known this about her was dead, and even they didn't get the full story. did it matter in keeping it a secret now, when a bigger secret was going to be dropped on their heads if Lady Alice didn't feel like being kind? did it matter, when he's putting pieces together and even if she refuses he'll figure it out anyway.
so she raises her eyes from the depths of her mug, and straightens up a little.]
My job and what I am are the same. I'm a grim reaper.
[surely, there had to be some legend like that in his world.]
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Grim reapers. Collectors of death. Suddenly it makes some amount of sense.]
Didn't see that coming. [He's honest at least.] We don't have those where I'm from, I think. But we've got the Fates. They control life and death, y'know? They decide what happens to people and decide when people die. Crazy responsibility. [He seems considering for a moment, unsure how to approach the subject now that it's out there.]
…how--[No, wait.] I think I get why nobody on the ship knows. People would freak out. But how did Alice bring someone like you here? [How the hell did Alice bring someone like him here? Who knows.]
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[that, she had accepted the first few days. she looks down at the tea again, and is glad that he understands why she's kept it quiet. say you're linked to death on a ship full of murder, and if every trial her name was suspected it wouldn't be out of line.]
Someone like the Fates - if I remember my legends right, there's three? - would be much, much more powerful than I am. But some of the concepts are the same.
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[...that's it. that's the reason.]
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[motives were incentive, yes, but claiming Alice was as intent on murder as the aliens possessing people were seemed wrong to her.]
She's doing her duty, Luke. One she has no choice in, if she has the concept of herself having a choice. Do you know what she said to me, when I remarked that everyone was going to hate her more the more time passed? She told me that it was better for us to hate her than each other. That she predicted it would happen from the start. What she does...I've picked up some things from trying to understand this ship's technology, and one of them is that an existence like hers was created to fulfill a specific purpose. So she does it, and I doubt she was made being allowed to ask why.
[to make herself pause, she takes in another sip of the tea.]
...I can't fault you if you despise her, for what your reasons may be. I don't agree with everything she does, naturally. It's only that...it just doesn't seem as simple as "Alice wants to kill us."
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I don't think she's bound by fate. How do we know she doesn't have a choice and she's not just lying to us? If she really was worried about us and what was happening to us, she'd be more helpful! She'd answer more questions at least. [Seethe…] She can fulfill a specific purpose, fine, but she doesn't have to do it this way.
…if it's not that simple, then what is it? What about what happened with Bull and what Alice offered him?
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[setting her mug down, she looks up at him.]
Every week, we've never let the murderer escape. Even yesterday, I know there were some of us who were already prepared to vote for Bull - myself among them. When the odds are so stacked against us ever getting away with it, then it begins to look less and less as though murder is the way forward, and survival is. Live, and you gain more pieces as you move on.
I might be wrong. You could kill me right here, and we could see if someone really is allowed to retire. Or we could try for surviving, and the truth. I'd prefer the latter, but...
[the way Grell says it, she's fully convinced that Luke won't kill her right then and there. it was only an example situation to make her point.]
Perhaps Lady Alice doesn't have to do it the way she does. Perhaps she has no choice. Think what you would - but would you rather dwell in uncertainty or find an answer?
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[She's not wrong. He won't kill Grell here and now. But he's frustrated with that answer all the same.] How're we supposed to solve a mystery we don't even have the real pieces to? Alice herself didn't know about the aliens, right? What else doesn't she know about that'll come back to bite us? She's an overseer of the project. I just think she could answer more questions if she was really that concerned about how the project was running.
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[she sighs, propping her elbows on the table.]
Believe me, Luke, there are so many more questions I have beyond the ones I've asked. Letting it lie doesn't make sense - but if Alice can't give us the answers because they're locked away, then it means I haven't found the right key yet.
[despite appearances, despite how she'd not like to break away and go back to what she had before, she's also dissatisfied with living under the terms of this deal. if Alice can't change it, then they had to.]
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[They may have to agree to disagree, but he respects her opinions nevertheless. He seems to be sulking a bit which looks a little funny on someone his age, but frustration runs deep the longer he spins in circles without answers.] If all of that's true...how do we find the right key? Any ideas?
week 10 - tuesday morning.
of course, the elaborate plan is halted when she sees someone else, the very figure she had intended to go find in the first place. the one she had been intending to speak with, had not the trial's end been so crushing. and then yesterday...]
Luke. Are you going somewhere?
[almost the tone that would be the same in can we talk? it's important she do this now instead of later. important enough that she's foregone doing anything to her hair, leaving it unbound in exchange for more time while most of the ship sleeps.]
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Coffee, I think. I can finally move without my limbs screaming at me so I figure it's time to push my luck again. [A pause.] Need something?
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[he gets that because, well, he knows her sleeping habits are shot by now, and so can empathize. who really needs to rest on this ship...
still, the brief smile she gives him fades after a moment.]
I wanted to speak with you, if you were amiable.
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I'm all yours for at least the next half hour. Cafeteria first and then...wherever, I guess. Coming? [He's already taking the lead, if only because it's easier to move forward rather than linger.]
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...About Friday. I...realized I said some things that weren't the most tactful. And for those, I wanted to apologize.
[he knows which ones, of course he does, and she still presses on.]
The rules where I come from are a lot less kind on the subject.
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Of course, he stops when Grell speaks of Friday and he pauses. He doesn't quite look at her, more inclined to watch the cube machine for their coffee before he shrugs almost languidly. The topic was a sore one and though he's since figured out a little about his mortality, it hadn't sat well.]
Considering what you are, I can imagine why. [It's similarly murmured, knowing she would rather keep her job under wraps as well. He grabs for his finished coffee then, shrugging again without meaning to.] Trust me, the rules where I'm from aren't exactly much more loose either. I'm just as confused as you are. [But of course therein lies the problem.]
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There's only ever been one reason judgement is delayed, that a person is sent back. "The person's existence will be of great benefit to the world." That's the textbook definition of it. Something they still have to do, something on the side of good.
[a pause, because that didn't explain everything, but she couldn't go on without turning this into a philosophy debate. death, Grell thinks, is supposed to be something final. an end, and as much a part of existence as birth. of course people want to subvert it, get as much time as they can, it's a trait inherit in mortality. but if suddenly the mortal became immortal, had some manufactured way to make death mean so very little, then could it be called death anymore?
her cup is done, and she takes it out to add enough milk and sugar.]
That's how it's always been for me - and so with you I wasn't actually confused at all.
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Wait what exactly do you mean? What does that have to do with me being here? [Luke, for all that it's worth, doesn't exactly want to believe the truth that's in front of him. That there's something left. Hearing someone else say it perplexes him, but…Grell's opinion does hold weight. So he patiently blinks at her and waits for a response.]
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[she says that without making it overly dramatic, without it being joking. a simple fact, while she stirs the coffee into the sweetness she prefers. to her, Luke Castellan must fall into that category for exception. why wouldn't he?]
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And yet it's another case where whoever's in charge isn't gonna tell me what that important thing is. Yeah. Been there, done that. [But he knows that isn't Grell's fault and so he sips his coffee and broods quietly.]
...Grell. What happens to people in your world if they don't do whatever that important thing is? Anything? What if they don't figure it out on time or just choose not to do it?
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It's not up to us to say that they will - and anyway, that's only my guess on what that phrase is supposed to mean, out of a multitude of other interpretations. What they choose to do, it's up to them. They could do a hundred things, or just one. They could do something that to them seems meaningless but triggers a chain of events that results in something. Their presence could serve as inspiration to someone else. The only thing that reapers can control is whether we deliver the final blow, and seal someone's death. Everything else is in the mortal's hands.
["in charge." if he only knew.]
All that's known for certain is that their life has untold value.
[and personally? she's never found a mortal like that. one where it would be better to spare them and delay the judgement. Luke, in that respect, is the first.]
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He has a lot to think about. What could his revival mean? He has thoughts and they involve things everyone's told him but...it's hard. It's hard to change his thinking when goals and motivations and priorities shift continually. Though he has ideas, they all revolve around the idea that people trust him to do good things and protect people here.
He'd failed that back home. Maybe that's why the second chance.]
I think it's mostly reassuring that you won't be the one delivering that final blow then. [It's all he says for a short while.] If such a life has that much value...can a person bargain with a reaper for a little more time? Especially if they think they know what they're here for. In general.
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If they made a good enough case for themselves, I don't see why that'd be entirely out of the question.
[besides. who could contradict her now? there were no other reapers on board to do so.]
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I think I know what my next step is then. It'll take a little bit of planning, but I think I can make a good case if you ask me. [It's strange, really, how originally he wanted nothing more than to go back to where he came from to proceed with his afterlife and go for rebirth. Knowing he has a choice and options though...that changes things.]
...thank you, Grell. You didn't have to tell me all of this.
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[the smile on her lips as she taste tests the coffee is true, but almost sad. it's her version of you're welcome. she's trusting that she won't come to regret exposing the truth like this.]
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